Monday, October 15, 2007

Step One: Conquer the NFL. Step Two: Conquer the WORLD!

If you're like me and weren't living in one of the few areas unlucky enough to not get the Patriots and the Cowboys on Sunday (or, as the four-letter network called it to no end, the "Duel in Dallas"), you probably spent three hours of your life watching New England's football franchise show why the NFC is (sadly) a far inferior conference to the AFC. Big story, no doubt.

If you were truly paying attention, however, you'd have also realized that the true story came once the game was over and the players addressed the media.

Everyone remembers the Randy Moss of old, right? Came into the NFL with off-the-field baggage, prompting his fall to 21st overall in the 1998 NFL Draft? Admitted to taking plays off while playing for the Vikings? Left the field early against the Washington Redskins? Said that he used marijuana on an episode of Real Sports? Mooned the Lambeau Field crowd during a playoff game against the Green Bay Packers in 2005? (Prompting one of the best overreactions in the history of the universe, not to mention a similarly hilarious/classless response to his later fine, depending on how you view the situation.)

Hold on to those memories, folks, because it would appear as if that's all you'll have of that chapter in Randy Moss' career. Bill Belichick seems to have .

It was shocking enough in week one to hear Tom Brady-Moynahan-Bundchen talk about Moss, saying that "all the guys look up to him" and that he's "a great role model." Needless to say, that's not something you'd expect out of the Moss of old. It has to all be a front, right? Clearly they're just trying to paint this wonderful picture.

Nope. It's actually legit.

Even after the walking three-ring circus himself called out "the other 81" earlier this past week, Moss still had nothing to say that even remotely resembled the brash wideout we've come to know.

"I didn't want feed off what he saying or the hype over the game between the two 81s. I don't really buy into that. I've got a job to do and that's to try to catch touchdowns and get first downs"

But wait, there's more!

"I come to work everyday. I love seeing the guys. I love the camaraderie of the locker room and practice everyday. We have fun, but at the same time you've all heard about the humble pie. Coach Belichick has a tight grasp on us."


Is anyone else scared about this? The Patriots are currently destroying everything in their wake (minus Richard Seymour and Laurence Maroney, no less!), and apparently character issues aren't a big concern? You don't behave? No problem. Darth Belichick will show you the true power of the"Patriot Way".

Tremble in fear, America. If not even Randy Moss could hold out, surely world domination is somewhere on the horizon.

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