Monday, November 19, 2007

A Trojan Romeo

Lil' Romeo has signed a letter of intent to play with USC. On the one hand, my first thought was, publicity stunt. However, after hearing how good he actually is, it got me thinking about what other celebrities might fit in with other college and pro sports teams...

Soulja Boy Tell'em: The Dallas Cowboys. Just imagine the touchdown dances he and T.O. could coordinate:

Terrell Owens Celebration

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Dr. Phil: The New York Knicks. No team needs to "get real" more than the Knicks. Added perk: Dr. Phil would provide a better defensive presence than anyone in the current Knicks frontcourt.

Tom Cruise: The Baltimore Orioles. Overpaid? Check for Orioles, check for Cruise. Consistently under-performs expectations? Check for the Orioles, check for Cruise. Weird semi-abusive spousal relationship? Check for Orioles, check for Cruise. Plus, both follow a mythical pseudo-religion espoused by a demigod figure — Cal Ripken and the Oriole Way; L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology. A perfect match.

Lord Voldemort: The Patriots. Any explanation needed? I'd like to point out that while a Google search of "Bill Belichick evil" is only at 153,000 ("Lord Voldemort evil" checks in at almost 500,000), the Patriots have a few weeks left in the regular season to jack up that number.

Charlie Sheen: Pittsburgh Pirates. It's been said they need some pitching. Sheen might be able to lend an arm:

Air Bud: The Atlanta Falcons. Great publicity coup that has the added benefit of finally giving the Falcons a top-tier receiver.

Britney Spears: The Denver Broncos. Travis Henry could teacher her a thing or two about avoiding child support payments. Plus, Mike Shanahan can make literally anyone into a 1,000-yard rusher.

Vanilla Ice: Duke men's basketball. The similarities here are endless, especially the eerie resemblance Ice bears to a certain reviled Duke star from the past. Best part — Ice could probably run the point better than Paulus. Plus, I'm sure a certain fan base would make use of this video from Ice's past if he ever played for the Dukies:

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